I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
