i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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