Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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