So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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