If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
