Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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