I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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