So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
