I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
