Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
