Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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