We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
