Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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