sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize