If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
