Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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