we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize