I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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