I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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