do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize