Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
