would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
