He is an equal opportunity slut.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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