Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
