well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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