Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
