It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
