She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
