Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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