I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Randomize
