OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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