I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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