Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
