dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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