I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
