Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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