Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Girls should come with a carfax report
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Randomize
