It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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