well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
