google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
