i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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