So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
