its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
