absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
