Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
