You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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