we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
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