he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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