The brown eye won't let me do that either.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
