I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
