4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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