God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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