if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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