I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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