so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I skipped work to stalk him.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He better not be in your backpack
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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