just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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