jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
