All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
