New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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