I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
