happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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