I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
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