I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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