So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
