i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
